LAWN - a dreamer's diary

Iamlawn on Netflix!  

I once wrote a song for a Netflix series, I found the process super funny and initially a bit difficult for me, as the lyrics of the MC which I'd been given to work with, were super sexual and all about pleasure and satisfaction. Hahaaaa 
I wasn't super comfortable with this cliche, as I feel we have evolved beyond this now.  
So, I decided to turn the content around and become the sexy boss goddess woman. I wanted to show an experience of unconditional love, an opening, a softening, an entering into another human being which leaves us both richer and stronger and clearer.  
What fun!! Rather than let's get high to enjoy life, from taking from others, or taking substances to elevate our feelings, let's get high off life itself - you see? Hahha it sounds kinda silly to explain like this, but that's the idea. 
Two people, meet, connect, they get really real. They get present in this moment. They lavish themselves with abundance (luxury), with self love, with kindness, they open themselves up as deep as possible to the present moment and what it is offering. It is unconditional love. Tomorrow doesn't matter. Nothing else matters, just the joyous expression of the highest possible love for this moment. They connect to the gods and goddesses that they are.  
I wanted to represent a certain divine femininity around this theme. 
The beautiful dance as a whole. The balance between the contrasting and complementing energies. The unconditionality of an experience where two souls come together to celebrate and experience life for a moment. 
In my mind, I was abundant beyond measure (represented in this song by material wealth), I was powerful, beautiful, sexy, kind and instead of being led by a hunger for something outside of myself to fulfill me, I invited another dear soul into my world to experince my luxury with me. To treat ourselves to the abundance we emanate from, to provide a platform for myself and another soul to spend an evening of self-love so profound, it would transform our lives completely. 
No more of this old narrative of hunting, finding someone to prey upon, feed off them for an evening and then ditch them the next day while beginning the hunt for the next. How BORING!  
Let's enter instead into a new paradigm. No experience unless it is unconditional, it is true, it is love. Let's open into each other. Let's get together to celebrate life and experience fully each beautiful moment as it unfolds for us, whether with a spouse, partner, friend or stranger.  

In this song, the Goddess takes control of the situation. She shares her wealth, a metaphor of her abundance, she invites him in. He will not take what is not given, coz he's a smart, beautiful boy. They give and they take together. And together they evolve. Her guidance is accepted. And omg we have a sexy goddess song! 
It still makes my blush. 

I hope you enjoy hahahaha ha ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘

Exciting developments to share! 

Hey beauties, 

I am suuuuuuuper excited to share something I have been building with you. 

I will release (Patreons get the first glimpse) what I have been developing with a super talented friend of mine, Sara Soares in a few days and I can't WAIT!! 


It will be the beginning of the next chapter of the LAWN project and we have some exciting changes underway that will be dropped every now and then in the next few months. 

Stay posted and THANK you for being here with me!!








Life lessons from young woman Shannon aka Lawn 

Hey malta,


I would love to share with you a little bit about my life hacks. I am going to type it quickly and hopefully with minimal editing as I would like to express myself as freely as possible. Rock and roll :)

I was a pretty depressed, suicidal messed up child. deep. haha sorry to start there.

That ended about the age of 15 where I started taking decisions for my life and my own experiencing of it.

Since that age, I have been studying the art of living. I have been searching profoundly for happiness and I believed inherently from the various spiritual peoples books I was reading, that actual genuine peace, wellbeing and joy was possible in my lifetime. (Check paramahansa Yogananda Autobiofraphy of a yogi, Julia Cameron - The artist's way, Paulo Coelho various books, Abraham Hicks teachings, Eckhart tolle - power of now, Baba Ram Dass - Be here now and many more im sure)

Since 15 I have been seeking freedom. 

I know all this social media and blogging and stuff can be often quite misleading in regards to how a human is actually living and experiencing their lives - and I want to share with you all that after a time of studying my beautiful SELF, I am genuinely living my dream life (for this moment! what is my dream life seems to change with life phases, uncontrolled by me) I wake up each day happy. I spend my mornings happy doing exactly what it is I want to do. I spend my afternoons filled with joy and lve. my evenings also, and as I fall asleep each night i am at peace and so proud of where I have come from and how I have arrived here.


IT IS POSSIBLE FELLOW HUMANS!! Your happiness awaits you. If I can find my way to this kind of life-experience, considering where I came from, ANYBODY CAN! I believe it is our birthright as conscious beings born onto this beautiful planet. Not only that, but i have found that as I have focused FIRSTLY before all else in life (including relationships, work, material things, even music and making 'my dreams come true') on MY OWN JOY, WELLBEING AND PEACE; EVERYTHING in life begins making more sense. I come more into alignment with nature itself and rather than being stressed out by the 'problems of earth' I see the joy and love in all things. I am filled with love-power while looknig at the darkness on our planet and I can love it anyway - and because I am not stressed out or bothered by it - I can actually DO POSITIVE THINGS about it - because I HAVe CHOSEN TO POSITIVELY CHRGE MYSELF FIRST.


How? I guess this stuff I would love to begin sharing. Because although I LOVE music and it is really really badass, my true art form is my own life. 


1) before all things, choose to prioritize your own joy. (When I say Joy I don't mean bouncing around blissed out happiness. I mean MEETING your beautiful self exactly where you are each day. If you wake up, sad and with low energy, meet it! Give yourself a big hug there! Tell yourself 'I am just having a low energy day, my beautiful body and mind must need to recharge! I will buy me a flower today! Im gonig to treat myself.! Im going to relax and massage my feet. take a bath etc. it means accepting and LOVING yourself wherever you are! do ALL THAT YOU NEED TO DO to make your own JOY your priority. maybe that means NOT FIGHTING when someone says something outrageously ridiculous to you. Maybe that means beginning to study the thoughts that occur in your mind and changing the nasty things you say to yourself or about the world we live in. Maybe that means exercising more. meditating. quitting your job. 

VERY IMPORTANT: DO NOT TAKE ACTION if you are feeling bad. FOCUS FIRST ON FEELING GOOD, then your beautiful life will lead you to positive action. we can not make ANYTHING good in life - coming from a place of feeling negatively. We cannot make anything NEGATIVE in life, when coming from a place of positivity. (Now that might mess some peoples minds up... I dont care :) coz its TRUE caralho) The 'WHAT' in life is as less important than the 'HOW'. Focus on meeting the current situation. accepting it as it is. and eventually LOVING it if you can get there. there are certainly things to love about EVERY SITUATION.

I think of it like this: I am three parts:

1) I am a consciousness, That consciousness has been gifted 2) a physical body that looks and is a certain way (I didnt choose to be who I am, I just AM. I can either meet that and learn about her and LOVE her or I can fight my own NATURE) This physical body moves through life. It thinks things. It feels things. It experiences things. It likes and dislikes things and people. It feels love and pain. My consciousness is NOT this. It is seemingly seperate from this physical matter stuff of me (including my thoughts and emotions.) NOW, this awareness of the seperate consciousness allows me to SEPERATE from the experiences of my human self.
The life of this beautiful Earth Shannon I have been gifted to consciously take care of unfolds, like the turning of tides. It is nature itself. She wakes up grumpy, it is my job to take care of her on those days. and what a PLEAURE that is - coz she is SO AWESOME I LOVE treating her to things she likes. and when I do that (maditate, go for a walk, do some stretches, eat some vegetables, buy her a nice pretty candle) she arrives at peace very quickly. 

Now - as an improviser and a creative human being - by studying my own nature in regards to my CREATIVItY I have come to understand that I have a third part. 3) This part I think of as a HIGHER Shanny. This is the same as some peoples idea of God. It is the same as some peoples ideas of an infite ocean of love that we can tap into. It is eternal. it is everything. it is all things and simultneously is the EMPTYNESS that allows all things to exist. It is all things - meaning it is also ME! and through meditation and improvisation I have learnt that when my 1) consciousness and 2) my physical shanny (including thoughts and emotions) steps aside there is a greater love that enters into the experience of my life. It is a quickening. it moves silently and in ways I cannot understand or explain - it is miraculous and it is so fkn loving it humbles me to my knees every time. This aint no spiritual bullshit. this is for me, the most practical thing I know of. 

If I allow my consciousness to take care of my physical shanny before ALL OTHER THINGS IN LIFE (coz we know all things DIE eventually anyway, including that beautiful family you have or the amazing home you live in, or the dream job you are currently experiencing, your own physical body, ALSO THANK GOD; ALL PAIN AND HORRIBLE LIFE SITUATIONS also die woooo) thats hard to hear I know. Im sorry. But it is also LIBERATING! 

IF I allow myself self-care FIRST: in other words my consciousness and my physical Shanny enter into alignment with each other and I stop FIGHTING the I that I AM, I open up the gate that allows that infinite love to come in and start leading my life. 



it knows who you are. TRULY: better than you do.

It knows what you want. 

And it has infinite ways, far greater than you could ever imagine, to make all you are desiring to manifest in your lfie experience NOW.


NOW DUDES, If youve heard stories of jesus and other homies doing INCREDIBLE ThINGS, I am here to tell you (lolol im sorry) That these HUMANS (just liek you and me) Have simply PERFECTED this connection in their life. They have connected to that source that we all stem from. 




There is NO LIMIT to how good your life can get. There is NO LIMIT to how good you can feel as you move through this beautiful time-space continuoum our senses allow us to experience and believe is reality. 



lololololol sorry.



But for now, for me, it's true. 


I have an exercise for you: ALSO: STOP LOOKING AT THE MANIFESTATIONS! We are CONSCIOUS CREATORS! if you keep looknig in dismay or pride at waht is currently manifested around you on planet earth or in your immediate surroundings or in your own body, you miss out hugely on the joy available to you in the PRESENT MOMENT. And you are focusing on what has already come to manifest - it is OLD NEWS! Let it go - and focus on the world you want to CREATE, for as positive beings we have the potential to positively affect our space-time continuum. now THAT rocks.  Let your self FREE, stop controlling him/her/yourself: let the WORLD FREE. stop trying to control everything. and PLAY with th ejoy of what COULD be!

here is an EXERCISE:
Open your eyes. your ears. Your senses. Right now. Stop what you are doing for It is not so important.. 
.  experience this moment as an orchestra performing just for you. The sounds, the smells. the feeling on oyur skin. Dont judge it, just let it be. Imagine the whole wrld in this moment is playing you a song. Feel the love in that. Appreciate it. give thanks to the experience of life. take a sip of your tea or coffee or water. experience deeply waht that is like. Isnt it PLEASURABLE! to be able to drink your drink EXACTLY as you like it. WOW! Play Play!!

As I practice - I come closer and closer to living in a state of acceptance, peace, joy and LOVE, ALL THE TIME! (it's like going to the gym, when you practice awareness of the truth unfolding around you ((which is constantly changing and beautiful like an orchestra or a dance, including my own thoughts and emotions)) you get stronger and it becomes a habit) I experience life passing before my eyes. I don't judge it, I just watch it and enjoy the unfolding of it. When I experience pain like someone I love saying something mean to me, I watch the pain and appreciate being shown something OUTSIDE OF ME that I ALLOW the power to affect who I am (I am JOY, I am happiness. because I CHOOSE to be) SO when i experience pain it is a huge blessing. i am shown something that stops my from being who I  truly am. And because Now I have seen it inside of me (coz it is NOTHING to do with the external world, it is only up to ME and WHO I CHOOOSE TO BE) I can shine light on it. i can love that I am a human with a heart that gets hurt sometimes, and i can give myself a delicious hug, and then I am free from that chain that i allowed to destroy my well being.


DUDE! I am rambling FO SHO, I would LOVE to share more about this. but its already a million characters long and very unthought out haha! SOOOO I will continue another time, hopefully in greater clarity and easier to undersatnd.

Dudes, I wanted to share just that through good intention and love and humility and understanding, we can become JOYFUL human beings. We can live a life filled with good-feelings and LOVE. We can be healthy. We can bring ourseves into alignment with our own nature - and then naturally this alignment leads us to alignment with the nature of ALL things which we are a part of (Earth and each other for example)
If we neglect the care of our own beautiful unfolding natures, we neglect each other and the earth. NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE WANT TO MAKE A POSITIVE CHANGE WE ARE RENDERED POWERLESS by our own self-neglect. IT IS TRUE: I have experienced both ways. and as a depressed activist I was powerless hahahah! hilarious.



Time to continue my day. Thanks for stopping by.



photo: Rita Sousa-Rêgo


WE CAN DO IT HUMANS! It is time to prioritize our well-being. experiment with me. I promise it will be the SINGLE GREATEST thing you have EVER done in your life. write to me ANYTIME if you are strugglig and I will help you find your own path. FUCK YEAH coz the way is different for ALL of us. coz we are ALL DIFFERENT. rock and roll :)

New release: iamLawn & Angelika Bourti - Dreaming 

A cheeky little collaboration with a beautiful friend of mine, Angelika. 


She asked to come and jam, little did we know we would end up writing a full song! 

It is a song about how focusing on ambition SUCKS||| kindof.. 

I decided to 'pursue' music for a few reasons

Firstly because it allows me to document my life journey - so that I can look back and remember dearly what has passed by listening to the music created at the time. 
It also demands of me that I continue to grow and learn every day, humbling, struggling, celebrating, enjoying, sweat, tears and all!
It is also some of the most playful fun I have had in my life, then becoming a healing process of experiencing life itself. 


The past year I seem to have gotten more and more focused on 'making it' ... lol.. but I think that is mostly due to not taking care of myself financially, so money became an obsession (coz I had none). <<<<<<<<<LAAAAAAAAMMMME! So here is me letting go of that focus, sorting out my life (i have decided I will find a part-time job if I need to, so I can free myself and my art from the burden of earning) hehe and again letting my creativity flow freely and be fun! Man life is SO FUNNY!! I have had the last 2 and half years more or less to create freely, without working on anything else. I have learned so much and made such beautiful things. I am truly happy and ready for the next phase. Things are going to be bigger and more gangsta than ever before! No doubts x


Check it out homies!!


iamLawn & Angelika Bourti - Dreaming

Lady Bright - Song for our people 


Hey beauties,


Iam in NEXT LEVEL appreciation mode of all the amazing humans I have connected with along my way. I have been so incredibly blessed to know the amazing souls that I know, and there are so many of you!



I am the person I am today because of the blessed humans I have met along my way. I am eternally grateful for that.

There is so many of you that I miss so so much and would love to be with, appreciating you to your face in person. I would love so so much for some time to spend with you, drinking tea (coz its so cold right now where I am!!), sharing stories, aw man Id just grab you all up in a huge cuddle and hold you for a few hours.


It is hard to express how much gratitude I am feeling towards you all in a blog post! How many incredible people do you have in your life whose paths have crossed with yours, or who even walked with you for a moment and then life caused you to seperate? I love you guys so much, thank you for all you have given me.


Basically, I met a beautiful woman named Lisa Shalom and we created this song together about three days ago to release on my patreon. 
It started with me improvising a line into my 404 'Where have all the good ones gone?´'
Which turned into us thinking about the dear people in our lives that always seem to disappear as we walk along our own journeys. I chucked some piano chords down for the two parts and we co-wrote the song, brainstorming lyrics. Lisa played the wonky beat into my octatrack, I sung the bass for the first part and she sung the bass for the bridge, then she recorded the badass harmonies and man! I did some basic mixing and mastering and after about 12 hours in the studio we had a song.



But listening to it brings tears to my eyes, I don't have words - really - the song expresses better how I am feeling, and you AMAZING people that I know are in the place you need to be, spreading love and light and positivity where you are. Although I would love to be with you, I need to be doing my light work here for now. And i trust that you have your part of the world under wraps. 


I love you all so much. my heart is overflowing. 



It is our purpose.


I love you, 




Synth/hardware programming workshop and gig @ Trunfe 


Hey homies!  

Coming up tomorrow in Coimbra I have a cheeky little afternoon synth workshop hosted by the LEGENDS at Trunfe-Kopos.  

Come down and get some!! For those of you that can't be there is person I will record bits and pieces and upload it for your viewing pleasure!  

I will be talking about my process of music production (with my octatrack and sp404sx) and showing how to synthesize subtractively (with my 1982 Roland Juno 6). I will loop some stuff and hopefully get some not-so-shy audience members involved in the unfolding of the performance/afternoon. It will be a lot of fun!!  

WOOOOO the last little while has been quite full-on. I have started exploring parkour/circusy stuff and it is SOOOO COOOL!! the world of circus-performing-art is incredible and I have learnt so much by just hanging around some of these amazingly talented people.  

There is this inherent atitude of 'just try it!', people experimenting with performance and what their bodies are capable of.  

I think we in the music world can learn a lot from this method of experimental learning. I would love to bring more and more people into the music world - it is not such a special thing as we in the west make it out to be - for the elite 'talented few'. For me, everyone is musical (we naturally walk in 2/4 rhythm and our heart is a never-stopping metronome) and music is available to everyooooone!  

SO YES let's play some music together tomorrow and see what unfolds.  

I look forward to seeing you there xxxx

iamLawn adventures 

Hey homies, 

It's time we catch-up - a lot has been happening lately. 

Lawn has been sorting out her FINANCESS woo! 
Lawn got married and is slowly coming closer to being a resident of her current country. 
Lawn is developing her freelancing income. 
Lawn is in planning/preperation for van life and touring. 
Lawn is in preparation for the next summer festival tour. 
Lawn is working on her songwriting/piano playing/performance abilities. 
Slowly, Lawn is sorting her SH*t out hehehe!! 

I haven't been so in touch lately - as my life has kind of been building itself up and breaking itself down again in the last few months. 

The most exciting news is that I have moved to the city of Porto to organize my finances and buy a van that I will move my gear into and work from. I plan on travelling and working around Europe - collaboration with multi-media artists from around the world, sharing my music with everyone I meet. I am currently a lady on a MISSION!! 

After working for about a year on the release of my EP I have seen how expensive that process is - in so many ways. Financially, time-consuming, resource-wise. I can't do it the same way again and I am heading towards finding a manager/team-mate to support and guide me so I can focus on CREATING, more than the management/promotion side of things (which I SUCK at, compared to my art-makiiiing). We can't move mountians alone - you guys are already being a HUGE help by supporting me here. 

I can't thank you enough! 

I am currently working on a few things, an electronic press package is in the idea bank to begin preparing for world domination next year, my live performance stuff is also cooking - I want to make a truly EPIC show for yall, collaborators - here I come!! I have been playing piano and singing a little on the streets of Porto, practicing my skills and preparing for my own artistic next-level endeavors. And I am working on a website called Fiverr, selling my song-writing expertise and luscious vocal tones. 

It still needs a bit of development before I am living sustainably from it all - but I am nearly there!! When I am sustained financially I can focus more on my CREATIOOOONNNSSS. 

I have started writing songs again (DAMN IT FEELS SO GOOD!!) and back on the 'Artist's Way' bandwagon (If you haven't heard about that book, GET INTO IT COZ IT ROOOOCKS!! True life changer) 

Love you guys and I hope all is well in your spheres. 


Dealing with fearful thoughts 

Last night I couldn´t sleep. 

It took me a few hours I think.

As I tried, I went deeply into myself and the many overwhelming thoughts bouncing around my brain.
As I tried to sleep I realized that the dominant emotion/feeling/vibration that I have been practising for the past few weeks is overwhelmingly fear-based.

I was watching many different thoughts and ideas and opinions and dialouges bouncing around my brain (Imagine an electrical circuit with excess energy and no grounding wire) And for the first time since I allowed the fear vibe in (a few weeks ago), and didn´t catch it in time, and then the law of attraction brought me more of the same feeling thoughts more and more and more until last night I finally took the time and space to just quietly observe what was happening in my experience.

It was a cold dark room. In the beginning I was scared of dark beings. Then I was scared of the girl that hates me and what if she spread her hatred and other people started hating me. Then I was scared I was being awkward in all my social interactions and wasn´t giving everyone the love I love to give when I focus my attention on someone. Then I was scared of losing friends because of my awkwardness. Then I was scared my music sucks. Then I was scared I might fail as an artist. Then I was scared of having no money. Then I was scared that maybe I am a phony human and don´t deserve friends or good things in life. Then I was scared of my future as a touring musician and what if that ruins my relationship.
And around and around my thoughts went.


And it has been like this for the past few weeks as I dove into my work and neglected my self love and care schedule, gradually feeling worse and worse and spinning around and not knowing why.


SO there I laid in bed last night, finally with time, space and silnce to reconnect with my self and for the first ten minutes my head spun and I felt horrid.
Then I went "OH, I´m practising the vibrations of FEAR!" I´m literally eating horrid thoughts! And as each new fear-based thought came, I caught it and I gently hugged it, and I practised my wise, positive, reasonable voice on each thought.
"Oh, That girl? Her hating you is more a reflection of herself - of course! You know who you are, why let her ugly thoughts have any affect on you? "Beautiful Shannon! Rest your body. You have AMAZING friends. Go easy on yourself. Let it go." "You don´t do music primarily to succeed! You do it because you love it" "Just keep doing your work, angel, Step by step. You have already come such a long way." "You can already see money coming, Law of attraction is gold. It is already here. Go easy beautiful" 

And one by one, peaceful, loving, goddess Shannon loved, caressed and sung to fearful scared Shannon.

And fearful Shannon finally slept a deep healing sleep for the first time in weeks ~ 


Excerpt from Shannon morning pages 22.03.2018